Question: How do we protect our sons and daughters from being affected by dangerous ideologies, like the ideologies of the Khawārij, especially with all the various modern means of distractions nowadays?
Alḥamdulillāh, this is a tremendous question! An extremely tremendous question! This is because the father is a shepherd and he is responsible for his flock.
"There is no slave Allāh places in charge of his family, and dies while he is misleading his family, except that Allāh has prohibited for him Paradise."
So it’s obligatory for the guardian to strive and advise his family and from the greatest of advice is that he strives in giving them a righteous upbringing and to distance them from deviated ideologies that oppose the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allāh (ﷺ) like the ideology of the Khawārij that has spread in these recent times.
The Khawārij, O brothers, is a deviant sect its first seed began during the time of the Messenger of Allāh (ﷺ) from a man who interacted with the Messenger of Allāh (ﷺ) in a way other than the way his companions would interact with him with (May Allāh be pleased with them). And he is Dhu al-Khuwayṣarah, the one who said to the Prophet (ﷺ), “Be just!”
Afterwards, the Khawārij appeared during the time of ‘Uthmān (May Allāh be pleased with him). And they first came out from the land of Kinānah, from Egypt. They incited (the people) against ‘Uthmān (May Allāh be pleased with him); Uthmān, the one who the angels were shy from and the Prophet (ﷺ) was shy from.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said regarding him, “Nothing shall harm `Uthmān after what he did today!” They instigated (the people) against him, and they lied upon him, and they provoked the masses against him, until the affair reached its height with his killing in his home after days of siege (May Allāh be pleased with him).
One of them came and stabbed him nine times in his stomach with his sword. He said, “As for three, it was for Allāh. As for six, then it was for what I had in my heart against him!”
Then they came out and went against ‘Alī (May Allāh be pleased with him). And they come out in different eras. Every time a generation of them comes out, it is cut off and they will come out during the end of times until they come out with the Dajjāl. Their characteristics are one. They share their characteristics.
In these days they have deceitful ways in reaching the thinking of the youth! Rather they start with the young.
I say that it is obligatory on the father, firstly, is that he is smart and foresighted. So if he sees signs then let him be aware.
And from these signs is that they (Khawārij) are diligent in filling their (youths) hearts with hatred towards the rulers of the country. So if you find your son starting to speak about this affair and statements come from him here and there, then know he is on the path and that there are Shayāṭīn of men that have gained authority over him.
And from these signs is that they are diligent in filling their hearts with hatred for the scholars. And they say, “They are the scholars of the rulers. They please them so that they satisfy them. Scholars of the air conditioners, scholars of the books of old, scholars who are the donkey tail of the rulers.” Or they say, “Verily you don’t have an understanding of those scholars.”
So if the father finds that his son is fleeing from the scholars, then know that there is something wrong. So let him be careful.
And from these signs is that they are diligent in filling their hearts against the society. ‘The society has become corrupt. There is no good in it and I’m going to look for another place.’
If you find this in a youth, then know that there is trouble and that there is something he is concealing.
And from the signs, and this is very important to keep an eye out in the homes, and that is that they are diligent in separating the youth from their elders, from their parents, from their paternal and maternal uncles, the ones old in age. This is because they know that the elders, even though they are not educated (in religion), the dunyā has taught them wisdom! They are a barrier between them and between them falling into their plots.
So they try to separate or make them hate their parents! So if the father notices his son separating from him or his mother. He comes from outside and goes to his room, if you give Salām, he gives salaam, if not, he goes in. There’s a separation that wasn’t there before, then know that there is some trouble.
And this is from experience and engagement. We found that these four characteristics are undoubtedly found in the path attempted to catch the youth.
So it’s obligatory on the father to be careful and take heed.
Also, O brothers, it’s obligatory on the father to pay attention to the websites the son goes in. By Allāh brothers, I work in advising detainees because of the deviation in ideologies for ten years since it was first created in the Kingdom (of Saudi Arabia). I found that many of the youth fall into this deviation because their curiosity led them to enter these corrupt websites or it was named with something that appeared to be good; ‘Jihād in the way of Allāh’. So they entered because of their curiosity or wanting to know and they find there ‘experts’ in dealing with those that enter into these websites until they are persuaded into their ideology! Then the father is shocked because his son went here or there!
So it’s obligatory on the father, in a manner that is good, to know what websites his son enters. And this is from the most important points.
So it’s obligatory on the father to not push his son into these kinds of ideologies. Some of the people when they enter the home they lock the door and start cursing the country and start cursing the rulers. 'They do this and do that, and they forfeit our rights, and they do … 'And the youth listens…
Then one comes and says, ‘The way of being free from this oppression is…’ So he is preparing him to fall in their clutches.
From the important matters that is obligatory on the father to be diligent in, is to keep his son close to the righteous who are known for their correct Salafi Aqīdah and methodology!
By Allāh, there is no misery for the Muslims except it is because of his distance from the methodology of the Salaf.
The methodology of the Salaf contains purity. There is safety. In it is the establishment of worship!
So it is upon him to keep his son close to the good, the ones that are known by their pure Salafi methodology so that they are raised upon this sound path and upright understanding and to not let his son accompany whomever he wants.
In the past O brothers, the people recognized their company. They were either corrupt or good. It was clear if the person was from the people of disobedience or it was clear that the person was from the people of religiosity. However, nowadays there are people who wear the garments of religiosity and they have signs of the people who are religious. Their speech is the speech of the religious. However their ideology is deviated. So it’s a must to be careful! And that you choose for your son his company and from the company is what is in connection to memorizing the Qur'ān, being diligent upon being with the people of good, the ones that are known for good so that it will be a protection for the son from deviation.
By Allāh, O brothers, while advising detainees, we hear about things that shatter the hearts! Because of the negligence of the parents towards their children! From which makes them prey for the people of deviant ideologies!
Then when the axe hits the head, they start blaming the country.
The foundation is in the upbringing. The foundation is being diligent. The foundation is that you were negligent in regards to your children! Until whatever happened came about as a result of it.
So these are some points that is obligatory on the father and likewise the mother, her attention, especially in these times where the callers with the ideology of the Khawārij have increased!