If you fear a breach between them (a man and his wife)
If problems increase between the spouses to the point that it reaches dissention and disputes, and neither advice nor talk is of any avail:
…appoint (two) judges [arbitrators], one from his family and the other from her's…
Two righteous, intelligent judges, who know the affairs of unification and separation, who understand these issues properly. The judges must have these qualities, and they must investigate the causes that led these two to their current state, and question each of them about what the other is complaining about.
They must try to remove the blame between the two by attempting to make each one who is faulting the other loving of his/her spouse, telling them to overlook the others mistakes and withstand the errors. They must advice each of them by telling them of the goodness in returning to the other and to be content with one another and for each one to sacrifice some of his/her rights.
How much good and greater benefit has come as a result of this method. If they are able to obligate the one who is insisting in his/her falseness to practice the truth, the judges must do so. Whenever they find a path to rectification and harmony between the two, they must follow it and never sway from it, by way of each of the spouses giving up some of their rights, through spending wealth or other means.
If all methods fail, and the two judges see that separating the two is better since they cannot live together in harmony, they then separate between the two with the giving up of some wealth or not depending on the situation. The husband’s approval is not a condition here since Allaah named them ‘judges’ not ‘guardians’. The scholars who consider them to be guardians state that the approval of the husband is a condition for separation, but this opinion is weak.
Because of the Creator’s love for harmony between the two, and in showing that it is better than separation He says:
…if they both wish for rectification, Allaah will cause their reconciliation between them.
Meaning because of the more favorable decision, because of mild and gentle speech and beautiful promises which gain the hearts and have a good effect on them.
Indeed Allaah is Ever All-Knower
} [An Nisaa: 37]
…of the secrets as well as the open affairs, He is aware of what is hidden, and because of His complete wisdom and knowledge, He legislated these sublime rulings which are the only way for you to give everyone their due rights…
And who is better in judgment than Allaah for a people who have firm Faith.
} [Al Maa-idah: 35]
Published: Aug 02, 2008
Translator: Abu Abdul-Waahid, Nadir Ahmad
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عدلين عاقلين يعرفان الجمع والتفريق ، ويفهمان الأمور كما ينبغي ، فإن الحكم لا بد أن يتصف بهذه الأوصاف ، فيبحثان في الأسباب التي أدت بهما إلى هذه الحال ، ويسألان كلا منهما ما ينقم على صاحبه ، ويزيلان ما يقدران عليه من المعتبة بترغيب الناقم على الآخر بالإغضاء عن الهفوات واحتمال الزلات ، وإرشاد الآخر إلى الوعد بالرجوع ، وإرشاد كل منهما إلى الرضى والنزول عن بعض حقه ، فكم حصل بهذا الطريق من المصالح شيء كثير ، وإن أمكنهما إلزام المتعصب على الباطل منهما بالحق فَعَلَا ، ومهما وجدا طريقا إلى الإصلاح والاتفاق والملاءمة بينهما لم يعدلا عنها ، إما بتنازل عن بعض الحقوق ، أو ببذل مال ، أو غير ذلك ، فإن تعذرت الطرق كلها ، ورأيا أن التفريق بينهما أصلح لتعذر الملاءمة فرقا بينهما بما تقتضيه الحال بعوض أو بغير عوض ، ولا يشترط في هذا رضى الزوج ؛ لأن الله سماهما حكمين لا وكيلين ، ومن قال إنهما وكيلان اشترط في التفريق رضى الزوج ، ولكن هذا القول ضعيف ، ولمحبة الباري للاتفاق بينهما وترجيحه على الآخر قال